It is more than just a mental state. It is more than just a state in general. There is circumstantial loneliness, where all you feel is separation, a distinction between you and those around you. And then there is isolation, where the line is not drawn between you and other people; the line is drawn around you.
That is true loneliness. You may surround yourself with family and friends but there is a dullness inside that makes the smile on your face more like the sun's reflection on a pool of dark water. It is not a subtle wall that separates your ideals from theirs. It is simply a sleeping unhappiness. On occasion, the impulse to drive it into action becomes overwhelming and then there is a conscious feeding of the beast, simply to provoke some sense of a negative emotion, for the alternative is to be dead inside. At those times, it is like popping the loaded spring on a mousetrap. While you may have wished for the satisfying snap, the rapidity and the force behind it never fail to surprise.
And then the darkness becomes everything.
That is true loneliness. You may surround yourself with family and friends but there is a dullness inside that makes the smile on your face more like the sun's reflection on a pool of dark water. It is not a subtle wall that separates your ideals from theirs. It is simply a sleeping unhappiness. On occasion, the impulse to drive it into action becomes overwhelming and then there is a conscious feeding of the beast, simply to provoke some sense of a negative emotion, for the alternative is to be dead inside. At those times, it is like popping the loaded spring on a mousetrap. While you may have wished for the satisfying snap, the rapidity and the force behind it never fail to surprise.
And then the darkness becomes everything.
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